Alvida vs. Van Augur
Van Augur helped Doc Q off of the floor for the eighth time in the last ten minutes. "Have you seen Stronger lately?" asked the Doctor. "I have not, but he shall return to you at the proper time" replied his colleague. "If he does not, then it was Fate that it should be so and-" "Forget I asked" said Quelch dourly. "There cannot be greater rudeness than to interrupt another in the current of his discourse" quoth the Sniper. "Nevermore" said Q with a definite tone of sarcasm "shall I be so rude. Pray forgive me." The two men stood there silently for a moment in thought. "Hey, you want an apple?" "I believe I shall pass. My presence is required elsewhere."
Van Augur walked out into the arena and looked about for his opponent. Nowhere in sight. He sighed and sat down. Really, flat surfaces that are wide and open are not his favorite places to be. He was not fond of people who weren't prompt either.
About fifteen minutes later, Alvida finally showed up. "So sorry about that. Had to be fashionably late and make an entrance you know." "Discourtesy does not spring merely from one bad quality, but from several--from foolish vanity, from ignorance of what is due to others, from indolence, from stupidity, from distraction of thought, from contempt of others, from jealousy" replied the sharpshooterr.
"Oh, now don't be like that. After all, how can you be mad at somebody so beautiful" Alvida said and posed to the delight of the male members of the audience. Especially Sanji. "Have you ever seen a more flawless beauty?"
"There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion" retorted Van Augur.
"Oh, that's mean. You don't find me the least bit beautiful? Maybe you would like a closer look at me or this Iron Mace?" "To find yourself jilted is a blow to your pride. Do your best to forget it and if you don't succeed, at least pretend to" said Van Augur.
With that, Van Augur raised his firearm and fired once straight up in the air, adjusted his aim slightly, and fired once more. Alvida laughed as shards of glass rained down from the ceiling. "I hate to break it to you" she said, "but you missed."
"I never miss" said the marksman simply. "At any rate, I bid you good day." He stood up and began to walk out of the arena. "Hey, where are you going?" cried Alvida.
"The pride of youth is in strength and beauty, the pride of old age is in discretion. To reach old age is the goal of every sniper. If I am destined to win, then my further participation beyond this point is hardly necessary. If I am not fated to win, then the same is still true. Good day, Madam."
Originally Posted by Palochka
