16 characters ofSteven, I am here. And I have a confession to make.
Last year, I vowed I'd never do it.
His name brought a shudder, his face a cringe from the depths of my soul. From the moment I laid eyes on him, I deemed him an affront to all things whole and decent. Last year, I resisted him with all my ability. I anti-campaigned, supported the opposition, slipped sleeping capsules in Steven's drink--whatever it took.
Time passed. And one day, everything changed.
One glorious drunken weekend was enough to completely change how I felt about....him.
Him! With his phallic nose held high and proud, pointing the way to fun and laughter and good times. His arms spread wide, beckoning you to his bosom, to share a bottle of the sweet nectar of oblivion.
How could I have been so blinded? How could I have judged this poor creature based solely on his looks, without the slightest consideration for the noble vision of drunken camaraderie he symbolizes? I had shunned what I did not understand. Now, the time has come for me to admit the error of my ways and atone for my wrongful judgement.
Steven, my friend. I must offer to you my sincerest apologies. My eyes were close to the truth, but now I come to you, an enlightened soul. I understand now. His quest, his purpose, his selfless pursuit. It's all so clear.
And it is beautiful.
My vote. For Vasco Shot.