Odd things you used to think

[Cymelion]

Earth wouldn't take me to China but to New Zeeland. I blame America.

New Zealand - Lovely place lovely people.

I used to think there was gold underground everywhere all you had to do was dig for it - my parents sent me into the backyard with a shovel and all I found was rocks :(

[Nex]

I remember asking my mom when I was 6 or 7 if Swedish was the "real" language and all others were just translations of it.

I used to think the same with English.

I also used to think that when I learned Spanish that it would magically translate to English in my head. It took me a while to grasp the concept of thinking in another language, and even longer to properly implement it.

I think up through my fifth year of Spanish in school I was still translating everything to and from English in my head.

[GuetaMinute]

I used to think the middle finger was the pointing finger and just straight out ignored the index finger, lmfao. This only went on for about a few weeks or so but still.

[Kitsune Inferno]

I used to think I had psychic powers when I could seemingly bend the universe to my will.

Then I realized I was a very spoiled child.

[dirt monkey AL]

I used to think that when a man and a woman kissed, the woman becomes pregnant. Since I learned about egg cell and sperm cell, I thought they are transmiteed by kissing.
I was sooo dumbfounded when I found out about "sex".

:I

this was me, except that I thought that BECAUSE OF sex education

either they were bad at teaching it, or I missed something important

or I was a fucking stupid kid

Also, the become a skeleton when you die thing. When my grandpa died, and my mom tried to get me to go see him, I was screaming, and yelling about how I didn't want to see a skeleton - was honestly absolutely terrified.

[LaCaSiNa]

One of my most recent faulty assumptions was about egg cell donation.

I somehow got it in my head that it would be nice to help couples with problems in having children. There's a private clinic for that in my hometown and I went as far as starting to fill this extremely detailed form on their website. This was all done under the impression that the doctors would simply just put a huge fucking needle in me and suck out some cells.

When I told this to a friend of mine she flat out started laughing at me :D

What actually happens is that I'd be given hormone treatment by injecting myself and thus multiply the amount of cells. When the cells are ready to be collected, they give you pain medication, anesthetize your private parts and do it as an inside job. I really don't know if I'm up for something like that, which means I just shouldn't do it.

(Not to mention the possibility of having a mini-me running around somewhere.)

[Hiroy]

I use to think midgets were children.

[Sai-chan]

I used to think that my sister and I were twins seperated by age/time travel because we looked so similar.
... yeah
:I

[Warp Predator]

When I was two I used to think that time didn't exist until I noticed it, and because of that I invented time. Sometimes I think that it's still the case.

[Law of the sea]

New Zealand - Lovely place lovely people.

I used to think there was gold underground everywhere all you had to do was dig for it - my parents sent me into the backyard with a shovel and all I found was rocks :(

you did not dig far enough go try again lol.

[Demonicpoodle]

Not a big one but who else believed the widespread rumor that when some mischief monger (one of the people who perpetuated this myth) told you to look at your hand, if you looked at it in a clenched fist you were straight, and if you looked at it with your fingers strewn about like some lady with a heavy accent and long nails, you were a homosexual?

To this day I always look at it in the haphazard ladylike way because I am not an insecure silly person.

[MetaMario]

I used to think that I was purchased at a kid store and that my parents would return me if I misbehaved.

....Obviously they said that to me, but it scared the hell out of me. :I

[zachri]

Not a big one but who else believed the widespread rumor that when some mischief monger (one of the people who perpetuated this myth) told you to look at your hand, if you looked at it in a clenched fist you were straight, and if you looked at it with your fingers strewn about like some lady with a heavy accent and long nails, you were a homosexual?

To this day I always look at it in the haphazard ladylike way because I am not an insecure silly person.

Oh god that X'D
our R.S teacher - in secondary - made us do that, except that if you did it in a closed fist way you were more of a masculine person and if you did it the other way you were more feminine, and it was checking your nails. Then he was talking about sitting and quite bluntly said that most guys don't sit crosslegged because it crushes their balls (or something like that lol he was hilarious)

[The Beast]

I used to think that I was purchased at a kid store and that my parents would return me if I misbehaved.

....Obviously they said that to me, but it scared the hell out of me. :I

This one time my mother in the most dry manner of voice ever told me and my brother that we were actually triplets and our brother was buried in the backyard

I don't know what spurned it because she'd pull this out after this like once a month as a threat

but at the time

We knew she was lying and we called her on it by asking what his name was!

But she just deadpanned and then went back to what she was doing, going "really, what was his name... When you bury such unimportant delinquents they sort of get forgotten..."

And we got nervous

[Gliblord]

This one time my mother in the most dry manner of voice ever told me and my brother that we were actually triplets and our brother was buried in the backyard

I don't know what spurned it because she'd pull this out after this like once a month as a threat

but at the time

We knew she was lying and we called her on it by asking what his name was!

But she just deadpanned and then went back to what she was doing, going "really, what was his name... When you bury such unimportant delinquents they sort of get forgotten..."

And we got nervous

And to think she told everyone she'd sent little D'Artagnan to do missionary work

We knew there was something fishy, seeing as he was a year old

[tarrin4ever]

I used to think cats pooped from the ends of their tails. Not dogs though..... the hell was I thinkig?

[Insider2000]

When I was a kid, I thought french fries were made from giraffe meat.

[Hiroy]

I thought buffalo had wings.

[Aohige_AP]

Somehow I thought that old people just became young kids again after a certain point.

Boy was I in for a surprise!

They do.
You're just missing a few steps.

[Monkey King]

When I was really young and saw weather maps on TV of Connecticut I thought it was maps of the entire USA.
I think in my mind the vague shape of the little Golden Coast wang that points toward NYC on CT, resembled Florida (even though they're on opposite sides) and that's all I needed to be convinced.
So when I asked my mom where we lived I guess she pointed at the Mississippi area of CTSA. So I guess I thought we lived in Mississippi...