Well it wasn't Hatchan it seems ...
I also used to think that when I learned Spanish that it would magically translate to English in my head. It took me a while to grasp the concept of thinking in another language, and even longer to properly implement it.
I think up through my fifth year of Spanish in school I was still translating everything to and from English in my head.
I used to think the middle finger was the pointing finger and just straight out ignored the index finger, lmfao. This only went on for about a few weeks or so but still.
I'm in a good mood.
this was me, except that I thought that BECAUSE OF sex education
either they were bad at teaching it, or I missed something important
or I was a fucking stupid kid
Also, the become a skeleton when you die thing. When my grandpa died, and my mom tried to get me to go see him, I was screaming, and yelling about how I didn't want to see a skeleton - was honestly absolutely terrified.
Last edited by dirt monkey AL; August 15th, 2012 at 11:17 PM.
One of my most recent faulty assumptions was about egg cell donation.
I somehow got it in my head that it would be nice to help couples with problems in having children. There's a private clinic for that in my hometown and I went as far as starting to fill this extremely detailed form on their website. This was all done under the impression that the doctors would simply just put a huge fucking needle in me and suck out some cells.
When I told this to a friend of mine she flat out started laughing at me :D
What actually happens is that I'd be given hormone treatment by injecting myself and thus multiply the amount of cells. When the cells are ready to be collected, they give you pain medication, anesthetize your private parts and do it as an inside job. I really don't know if I'm up for something like that, which means I just shouldn't do it.
(Not to mention the possibility of having a mini-me running around somewhere.)
When I was two I used to think that time didn't exist until I noticed it, and because of that I invented time. Sometimes I think that it's still the case.
Not a big one but who else believed the widespread rumor that when some mischief monger (one of the people who perpetuated this myth) told you to look at your hand, if you looked at it in a clenched fist you were straight, and if you looked at it with your fingers strewn about like some lady with a heavy accent and long nails, you were a homosexual?
To this day I always look at it in the haphazard ladylike way because I am not an insecure silly person.
I used to think that I was purchased at a kid store and that my parents would return me if I misbehaved.
....Obviously they said that to me, but it scared the hell out of me. :I
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our R.S teacher - in secondary - made us do that, except that if you did it in a closed fist way you were more of a masculine person and if you did it the other way you were more feminine, and it was checking your nails. Then he was talking about sitting and quite bluntly said that most guys don't sit crosslegged because it crushes their balls (or something like that lol he was hilarious)
Thou shalt be ended in the name of the League of zachri and the Lawfare army.
I don't know what spurned it because she'd pull this out after this like once a month as a threat
but at the time
We knew she was lying and we called her on it by asking what his name was!
But she just deadpanned and then went back to what she was doing, going "really, what was his name... When you bury such unimportant delinquents they sort of get forgotten..."
And we got nervous
I used to think cats pooped from the ends of their tails. Not dogs though..... the hell was I thinkig?
LOVE AND PEACE
When I was a kid, I thought french fries were made from giraffe meat.
When I was really young and saw weather maps on TV of Connecticut I thought it was maps of the entire USA.
I think in my mind the vague shape of the little Golden Coast wang that points toward NYC on CT, resembled Florida (even though they're on opposite sides) and that's all I needed to be convinced.
So when I asked my mom where we lived I guess she pointed at the Mississippi area of CTSA. So I guess I thought we lived in Mississippi...
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