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Thread: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

  1. #501

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    It looks like you got beefy pecs. :3

  2. #502

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    I like it looks great on you Nolus. Hope you let us know how it feels after a test run!

  3. #503
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Quote Originally Posted by captain usopp View Post
    It looks like you got beefy pecs. :3
    Well, I do work out, so... :D

    Quote Originally Posted by Serra Britt View Post
    I like it looks great on you Nolus. Hope you let us know how it feels after a test run!
    Test run complete. It was awesome. The binder felt comfortable enough, I even welcomed the squeezing sensation it gave. I didn't feel pain nor do I do now, after having worn it for several hours (5-6). To be perfectly honest, I didn't even want to take it off when I got home. I left it on for a few more hours. I won't be able to wear it tomorrow anyways, so I guess it's okay.


    Kind of unrelated, but maybe not. A strange, panic-kind of feeling took over me an hour or so ago. I read up on surgeries (hysterectomy and breast removal) and for some reason, I felt a sort of fear, and it just grew and grew until it became dread. I don't know if it had something to do with the "high" I felt after my first succesful day out as a guy (I even went to the man's bathroom once) or not. I even cried a little I was so happy. Maybe as it was wearing off, I went to a state where my body/soul/mind paniced by the lack of more positive input.

    My psychiatrist was right, I do try (overly so) to carry the weight of everything all by myself. What can I do? This is a battle I have to fight alone. No one can do the paperwork for me, no one can really make it any easier for me. Not because they don't want to, but because they can't.
    I feel exhausted and alone.


  4. #504

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Quote Originally Posted by Nolus View Post
    Well, I do work out, so... :D
    First, Looking good Nolus! Just saw the pics! the binder does a good job!



    Quote Originally Posted by Nolus View Post
    Kind of unrelated, but maybe not. A strange, panic-kind of feeling took over me an hour or so ago. I read up on surgeries (hysterectomy and breast removal) and for some reason, I felt a sort of fear, and it just grew and grew until it became dread. I don't know if it had something to do with the "high" I felt after my first succesful day out as a guy (I even went to the man's bathroom once) or not. I even cried a little I was so happy. Maybe as it was wearing off, I went to a state where my body/soul/mind paniced by the lack of more positive input.
    This is tricky but in my experience there can be a couple of things going on here.

    First, and this is very important: Do NOT feel like you HAVE to have surgery to transition or to pass. It's your body and what you do to it needs to be for you and you alone. If you want to get the surgery because it's mentally distressing to you that you have these features and you want them gone for yourself, then the surgery is probably something you should have. If you're doing it entirely to make presenting male easier, and for no other reason, maybe you're freaking out because the Binder is a good and comfortable alternative, so the idea of surgery is now distressing?

    The TL;DR to that is just think long and hard about it and make sure any surgery you want to get is something you want for YOU and not for appearances or to please others.



    Or I could be overthinking this and it could easily just be that you do want the surgery and it IS right for you, but the typical fear of surgery a lot of people get is starting to set in on you.

    if it's that, it's totally understandable. Anyone who is about to get surgery for any reason typically gets this, especially if it's the first time you've ever had surgery. Technically no surgery is really fully "safe" and complications can happen, but these surgeries have been really hevaily prefected at this point and now it's extremely rare something could go wrong. You have a better chance of getting into a car accident than you do something going wrong in surgery.

    I've gone through it myself, and trust me, it's nowhere near as bad as your mind makes it out to be.

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  5. #505

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Nolus. you're probably just flooded with emotions right now. It's ok.

    Also, you may have to make all the steps along your path, but that does not mean that your friends can't walk along with you and be there for you while you walk your path. you are not alone. <3

  6. #506
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Quote Originally Posted by Demon Rin View Post
    First, Looking good Nolus! Just saw the pics! the binder does a good job!
    I was quite surprised myself, didn't think it would work so well given my proportions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Demon Rin View Post
    This is tricky but in my experience there can be a couple of things going on here.

    First, and this is very important: Do NOT feel like you HAVE to have surgery to transition or to pass. It's your body and what you do to it needs to be for you and you alone. If you want to get the surgery because it's mentally distressing to you that you have these features and you want them gone for yourself, then the surgery is probably something you should have. If you're doing it entirely to make presenting male easier, and for no other reason, maybe you're freaking out because the Binder is a good and comfortable alternative, so the idea of surgery is now distressing?

    The TL;DR to that is just think long and hard about it and make sure any surgery you want to get is something you want for YOU and not for appearances or to please others.



    Or I could be overthinking this and it could easily just be that you do want the surgery and it IS right for you, but the typical fear of surgery a lot of people get is starting to set in on you.

    if it's that, it's totally understandable. Anyone who is about to get surgery for any reason typically gets this, especially if it's the first time you've ever had surgery. Technically no surgery is really fully "safe" and complications can happen, but these surgeries have been really hevaily prefected at this point and now it's extremely rare something could go wrong. You have a better chance of getting into a car accident than you do something going wrong in surgery.

    I've gone through it myself, and trust me, it's nowhere near as bad as your mind makes it out to be.
    I'm sure I want it. Top surgery 100%, as for bottom, that's another story for several reasons. Whatever will be the case with that, it can wait. I won't do it in Hungary, and I won't do it for another several years for financial reasons anyway, so I haven't really thought about it that much.

    I don't know what came over me yesterday night. It wasn't even the first time I read upon top surgery and hysterectomy. I guess Captain is right, emotions got the better of me. I've been pretty all over the place lately, so it figures I had a small-ish breakdown. Wasn't the only one, but the others had triggers usually (e.g.: my cat peeing on my pillow and me noticing right before going to bed - small annoyance if not for the whole stress I've been going through). This one, not so much.

    I understand I don't necessarily need surgery to pass, and I'm sure as hell not doing it for random strangers, nor even for my friends or family. I'm doing this for myself. My breasts feel more and more alien to me by the day and sometimes I just want to tear them off. Which is an emotion one should not feel towards any part of their body. Same with hormones. I want that bitchin' moustache for myself, others marveling at it is just a side-effect~
    Believe me, I've been down the path of doing things to get the approval of others and I absolutely detested it. It felt like selling myself out. I'm much happier and more confident being my true self, even if it's inconvenient and strange to the world.
    the typical fear of surgery a lot of people get is starting to set in on you.
    Maybe, which is strange, considering I'll have to wait at least 1 year before I could even being consultation. Even though I have the papers from professionals stating I'm sane and surgery is approved, I still need the government's OK to do anything. Frustrating, but that's the game. I didn't make it this far to falter and give up living my true self.

    Quote Originally Posted by captain usopp View Post
    Nolus. you're probably just flooded with emotions right now. It's ok.

    Also, you may have to make all the steps along your path, but that does not mean that your friends can't walk along with you and be there for you while you walk your path. you are not alone. <3
    Thanks for the encouraging words. I greatly appreciate them :)

    Hopefully I can rest a little when the paperwork is sent. Or not since I still have to tell my grandparents about all this.


  7. #507

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Glad to hear you really enjoy the binder Nolus :)

    As for surgery stress...well I've heard it happens. My consultation keeps getting moved off (or at least feels like it!) and I haven't really felt the weight of that yet. So, I'm thinking maybe it's just nerves.

    I'm glad you are wanting the surgery for yourself only and not for any perceived need based on others :)

  8. #508
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    The binder is awesome. I wore it yesterday and the day before that and on Friday. Even went grocery shopping with it.

    The only downside is that I can't wear it to work because first I'd have to explain my situation which is a much more complicated matter. I've got so accustomed to the binder these past few days, I feel naked without it.


  9. #509

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    people wear binders for other reasons than being trans. Can't you just wear it cause you like it, and it's comfortable. Or who's to even know you're wearing one. Maybe you just like wearing certain clothes that just end up shaping you. *shrugs* I'm not there to see the situation. Just seems a shame and want you to feel good.

  10. #510

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    People might just take it as one of those things that they're afraid to ask about. You could just say you're wearing a really tight sports bra to work out in or something.

    Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible. - Frank Zappa

  11. #511

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    It's perfectly normal to feel nervous about clothing choices when presenting at work. While it is true that ultimately for the most part people might not actually care at all, it is still logical when going through a trans experience to be hesitant about clothes that bring attention to the situation.
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  12. #512
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Quote Originally Posted by captain usopp View Post
    people wear binders for other reasons than being trans. Can't you just wear it cause you like it, and it's comfortable. Or who's to even know you're wearing one. Maybe you just like wearing certain clothes that just end up shaping you. *shrugs* I'm not there to see the situation. Just seems a shame and want you to feel good.
    I wish I could have the confidence to do that. Maybe then they won't even question the sudden "absence" of my breasts even if they noticed.

    Quote Originally Posted by CosmicDebris View Post
    People might just take it as one of those things that they're afraid to ask about. You could just say you're wearing a really tight sports bra to work out in or something.
    Yeah, I thought about that. Even though about buying one of those while I still got the things, so they won't get in the way of my very manly weight lifting training (seriously, it's quite annoying).
    Thing is, do sports bras flatten that much? I won't be wearing skintight clothes anyway, so I wonder how noticable would it be. Maybe I could say they are in the way even when I'm not exercising and this is what's most comfortable for me?
    Quote Originally Posted by Noqanky View Post
    It's perfectly normal to feel nervous about clothing choices when presenting at work. While it is true that ultimately for the most part people might not actually care at all, it is still logical when going through a trans experience to be hesitant about clothes that bring attention to the situation.
    Luckily, there's no dress code at work (I would not last that way) and I've never dressed "like a woman" anyway, so the change might be bigger in my head than on the outside.


  13. #513

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Normally, I try to ignore Youtube shooting themselves in the foot...
    But really?

    https://twitter.com/YTCreators/statu...13347367079937
    Spoiler:


    Of course, Youtube release more tweets to correct the confusion (pretty much every time they make changes). Seriously, fire your marketing person & get a more competent one.

  14. #514

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    How do they define "More sensitive issues"?

    Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible. - Frank Zappa

  15. #515
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    What does Restriced Mode mean anyway? Videos are getting taken down?


  16. #516

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Basically, those videos will never show up on recommended videos. You will have to search for it under "restrictive mode" or something.
    I'm starting to think the PR person who wrote that tweet was being snarky as they realise how dumb this whole thing is.

    You see, Youtube has to protect those children from ever coming across any LGBT related videos. Some parents are very concerned that their children could turn gay or something. Youtube need to cater to those homophobicconcerned parents. Youtube didn't create Youtubekids apparently...
    "Tiny subset of users who want more limited experience".LOL

    It's outright discrimination againts the LGBT crowd. Only LGBT related videos are in restrictive mode?! Come on.
    Those creator will get less view & less exposure. It will kill their channel.

    Jenna Marbles actually pointed out that it's probably advertiser related which is plausible. I guess some advertisers aren't interested in catering to the LGBT crowd.

    Meanwhile, I'm still waiting for Youtube to stop recommending me Elsa & spiderman and any Buzzfeed "$1 vs $1000 videos"...

  17. #517
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Quote Originally Posted by SunnyBlue View Post
    Basically, those videos will never show up on recommended videos. You will have to search for it under "restrictive mode" or something.
    I'm starting to think the PR person who wrote that tweet was being snarky as they realise how dumb this whole thing is.

    You see, Youtube has to protect those children from ever coming across any LGBT related videos. Some parents are very concerned that their children could turn gay or something. Youtube need to cater to those homophobicconcerned parents. Youtube didn't create Youtubekids apparently...
    "Tiny subset of users who want more limited experience".LOL

    It's outright discrimination againts the LGBT crowd. Only LGBT related videos are in restrictive mode?! Come on.
    Those creator will get less view & less exposure. It will kill their channel.

    Jenna Marbles actually pointed out that it's probably advertiser related which is plausible. I guess some advertisers aren't interested in catering to the LGBT crowd.

    Meanwhile, I'm still waiting for Youtube to stop recommending me Elsa & spiderman and any Buzzfeed "$1 vs $1000 videos"...
    Oh, I see. I read up on it, and apparently, some coming-out videos are also restricted. Which is stupid.


  18. #518

    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    https://youtube-creators.googleblog....-and-what.html
    So, I just read an article from Youtube saying the system mistakenly restricted LGBT related video.
    Apparently their system was not doing what it was supposed to...
    They are also sorry for all the confusion it caused.

    Woah, this is even weaker than "My dog ate my homework' excuse...

  19. #519

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nolus View Post
    I wish I could have the confidence to do that. Maybe then they won't even question the sudden "absence" of my breasts even if they noticed.


    Yeah, I thought about that. Even though about buying one of those while I still got the things, so they won't get in the way of my very manly weight lifting training (seriously, it's quite annoying).
    Thing is, do sports bras flatten that much? I won't be wearing skintight clothes anyway, so I wonder how noticable would it be. Maybe I could say they are in the way even when I'm not exercising and this is what's most comfortable for me?

    Luckily, there's no dress code at work (I would not last that way) and I've never dressed "like a woman" anyway, so the change might be bigger in my head than on the outside.
    What kind of shirts do you wear? I'll let throw on something similar with one of my sports bras and take a few pics and you can judge. Either way, you can still use it as an excuse. Many guys have no clue how boobs work.

  20. #520
    The Moustache Bandit Nolus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talk LGBT Issues And Be F*king Nice About It

    Quote Originally Posted by captain usopp View Post
    What kind of shirts do you wear? I'll let throw on something similar with one of my sports bras and take a few pics and you can judge. Either way, you can still use it as an excuse. Many guys have no clue how boobs work.
    Oh, I'm not really afraid of the guys here, they were never too nosy about anything. It's more the gals.

    But... Good news everyone!
    Yesterday, I went to the post office and sent my request of an official name and gender change. I froze a little when the clerk literally pulled out everything from the envelope and started to skim through it. She was looking for a place to put the stamp (that proves I paid the appropriate fees) and apparently, it couldn't have been put on the envelope. She didn't really seem fazed it the slightest, so I proceeded to keep my mouth shut.
    But damn, those papers cost me more than 260 dollars. I do hope the responsible department accepts the request. It would be so much easier if I didn't have to wait, I quote, "6 to 12 months". Sigh...

    Also, I'm wearing my binder right now as I'm typing this post on my work computer, at my desk, in the office, while my colleagues have perfect vision of me. No one has said a thing. I don't even have my jumper on, just a plain T-shirt (like this: https://www.polo-shirts.co.uk/images...t-1316-331.jpg).

    Maybe it's one of those things, where the absence of something isn't as noticeable as its sudden appearance?


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